Why squirrels are evil

Many years ago, when I was a starry-eyed newlywed, I bought tons of tulip bulbs and planted them in the fall. All sorts of colours; Queen of the Night purple, creamsicle orange and white variegated, apricot, you name it, I planted it. And the lone tulips that survived squirrel digging and rabbit chewing were eventually squashed by heavy late-May snowfalls.

I seemed to have forgotten all about that when I cheerfully planted more bulbs , and then was reminded last spring when the squirrels dug out and ate every single one of my crocus bulbs.

Well, my aim is pretty poor so that may or may not be a deterrent. Speaking of living in peace with fellow creatures, I saw the new Guardians of the Galaxy on the weekend, and it was excellent. Better than the first, in my opinion. I feel like I should keep this information to myself. CAN I keep such important information to myself? CAN I just keep on keeping on? The movie was great; usually I fall asleep or daydream during movies that I go to with the boys, and end up missing major plot points or just becoming overwhelmingly bored, but this was not the case.

It was warm enough to take out the bikes for the first time this season, and in fact, I was wearing a t-shirt.

Squirrels are very docile and tamable creatures. Subreason 9a: They can be fed at college campuses.

Subreason 9b: When they take food from you, they make every effort to avoid biting you. Subreason 9c: They could make great pets if proper housing is made.

They are very interesting creatures. Subreason 10a: Scientists have been studying squirrels for centuries. Subreason 10b: I have never seen any other creature climb up trees so fast. Subreason 10c: The flying squirrel is a true acrobat. People who know a lot about them tend to love them, and vice versa. Subreason 11a: Squirrel lovers know more about squirrels than squirrel haters and therefore know that squirrels are NOT evil.

The "Top 10 reasons why squirrels must die" on the Squirrel Defamation League page are irrelevent. Squirrels do not deserve to die for the things they do. Subreason 12a: Whatever a squirrel does, no matter how destructive, is not worth the death penalty. Subreason 12b: There is such a thing as forgiveness that squirrel haters lack.

Letterman-style Top Ten reasons why squirrels are better than birds: 1. Squirrels don't fly around and poop all over my car right after I wash it. Squirrels have much better tails! They move around in the attic at night scaring young kids and women. Squirrels are notorious thieves, they steal food and property from other animals and people.

They are the most skilled thieves on the planet. They are hated by birds and their watchers all over. They love to steal nuts and fruits. When measures are taken to prevent them from getting the prize, they try that much harder. Squirrels assault people's gardens all over the world causing millions of dollars in crop damage.

They get into people's gardens and destroy the vegetables, fruits, and flowers. They rarely even consume them, they just destroy them for the fun of it. Squirrels caused the black plague in Europe and currently carry numerous life threatening diseases including rabies and bubonic plague. It is a historic fact that squirrels, as well as their brothers the rats, were one of the carriers of the black plague in the Middle Ages throughout Europe leading to the horrible deaths of millions.

Squirrels are the most vicious animal on the planet and will attack any animal or human they come in contact with. There are countless documented accounts of squirrel attacks.

They terrorize people and are vicious foes. It is no accident that squirrels are portrayed in film as they are, insane little creatures that do not think anything of attacking people. Squirrels kill and castrate other squirrels. Naturalists that have studied squirrels have discovered many alarming behaviors among them. Squirrels fight even among themselves.

A Male squirrel will invade the tree of an enemy squirrel and bite of the testicles of the young in the nest. HOME www. Joined: Mar 7, Messages: Likes Received: RocketsPimp Contributing Member.

Joined: Feb 15, Messages: 13, Likes Received: Joined: Nov 27, Messages: 7, Likes Received: I can certainly attest to 1 and 9, but I'd like to see some stats or other info to support the other 8 items, please? BTW, save your ammo and get a Schnauzer. Shooting at them as they leap from treebranch to treebranch across your back yard is inefficient.

Get a Schnauzer they have a natural hatred for anything rat-like, particularly squirrels , put some food out on the ground, not in a tree , and just sit back and watch the party I know this from personal experience. I live in a squirrel-infested area, have a Schnauzer, and don't like to spend too much on ammo. Joined: Jan 29, Messages: 4, Likes Received: 1. Well, we have no deals with them. Joined: Oct 22, Messages: 7, Likes Received: Hari Krishna Squirrels - He who plays with the most nuts, wins.

Catholic Squirrels - He who denies himself the most nuts, wins. Anglican Squirrels - They were our nuts first. Atheist Squirrels - There is no nut maker. Polytheist Squirrels - There are many nut makers. Church of Christ Scientist Squirrels - We are the nuts. Communist Squirrels - Everyone gets the same number of nuts. B'Hai Squirrels - All nuts are just fine with us.

Taoist Squirrels - The pecan is as important as the almond. Mormon Squirrels - Every boy squirrel can have as many nuts as he wants. Southern Baptist Squirrels - If your nut is a Disney product, you have a one-way ticket to hell.

Jehovah's Witness Squirrels - He who sells the most nuts door-to-door, wins. Pentecostal Squirrels - He whose nuts can talk, wins.